


Two's Freaky Friday; Three's a Problem

by CelticGHardy



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 02:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticGHardy/pseuds/CelticGHardy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It couldn't be the bookends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two's Freaky Friday; Three's a Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween.
> 
> This is kinda rough, but I was trying to get it done for a deadline. Hopefully, it's still enjoyable.

Pete woke up blearily. He heard an annoying alarm and shut it off before being alerted to a full bladder. Groaning his displeasure, he shuffled out of the room and headed to the bathroom. His legs dragged him to the door that should have been the bathroom. It wouldn't open. Then, someone came out of the actual bathroom and he walked in before locking behind him. Relieving himself, he washed his hands and took a look in the mirror for a hair and stubble check.

He was looking at the wrong face.

“Uh, Steve?” he called, then repeated loudly, “Steve!”

A voice, the wrong one, questioned, “Why are you yelling?”

“I... I...,” he stuttered, seeing Claudia walk out of her room.

“Come on, don't joke. Why were you yelling my name?”

_Wait, what?_ “I was yelling Steve's name,” he stated, confused.

“Yeah, that's my name.”

“Steve, go look in the mirror,” he directed.

'Steve' walked in, confused about the command. After a few seconds, Pete heard, “What the hell?!” and he walked back out. “I'm in your body. How am I in your body?”

_This is not good._ “Uh, Steve....”

“We didn't touch those bookends, Claudia, you warned me about Pete and Myka's trouble with them,” he rambled.

“Steve,” he revealed, “I'm not Claudia; I'm Pete.”

“What?!”

“Pipe it down,” Myka interrupted, followed by 'Pete'.

“Seriously, no one needs to be woken up this early,” 'Pete' complained, rubbing 'his' eyes and looking up. It took a couple of seconds to realize what was wrong. “Wait, if I'm there, then what...” She looked down at the body she was currently in. “Oh, come on. I couldn't be in Jinksy's body?”

“Hey!” Pete protested, offended.

Myka pieced together what was going on. “So, Claudia is in Pete's body. Pete's in Steve's.” They agreed with her assessment. “Which leaves Steve in Claudia's.” The woman's body nodded, the man inside freaking out. “Okay, definitely can't be the book ends, they only work on two people. We should check what everyone dealt with yesterday,” she suggested.

“We're going to have to tell Artie,” Claudia lamented.

“Do you think that somewhere in the Warehouse is a thing that extracts souls?” Pete inquired, “Like in the first live Scooby Doo movie?” The other tree stared at him. Pete's thoughts out of Steve's mouth way kinda weird.

“Okay, Jinksy, we need to talk,” Claudia quipped, walking over and pulling him back into her actual room. Pete went back to Steve's room to change.

Artie had come back to the B and B, and he was waiting with Leena for the rest of the team to come up. He was trying to steal a pastry when Myka walked down with 'Steve'. “Hey, Artie, Leena,” she greeted.

“Myka,” Leena returned, before staring at 'Steve'. “Something's wrong.”

That caught Artie's attention. “Wrong? Wrong how?” he questioned.

“His aura's more like Pete's,” she stated.

“You know, maybe we should wait until the others are downstairs,” Myka prompted before Artie could prod them into spilling. 'Steve' nodded in agreement. The older man was suspicious.

“Oh. My. God!” 'Claudia' yelled from upstairs. The group looked up with 'Steve' looking like he wanted to laugh.

Eventually, the two came down. 'Claudia' had an intense look of mortification while 'Pete' was uncomfortable. Leen took one look at them and understood. Artie was waiting for answers. “Artie,” Myka asked, “Other than the bookends, what else could switch the minds of people and place them in the wrong bodies?”

“I would have to research, but the only one that fits the criteria of switching bodies is....” he answered, then came to the same realization. “Who switched?” The three raised their hands. “Switched bodies usually happened between two bodies, not three.”

“What can we say, Artie?” Claudia joked, Pete's voice ringing out, “We're made for breaking rules.”

He groaned his frustration. “I couldn't tell if that was Pete or Claudia,” he cited, “Who's in which body?”

Pete's hand was raised. “Claudia,” she announced.

“Pete,” he said, Steve's hand up.

“Steve,” he mumbled, raising Claudia's hand.

Artie wasn't happy. “Of all the things to happen,” he grumbled, “All right. As much as you three would like not to go anywhere, we have two retrievals.” He passed the folders to Myka and Claudia, uh, Steve. “Washington State University has had several students disappear for a couple of days before coming back with unknown blood lost. Several are still in the hospital.”

“Did they have puncture wounds and talk about sparkles?” Claudia joked. 

Artie frowned. “Case two. Housewives have mysteriously fallen unconscious. It lasts for about two to three hours,” he explained.

“It's not just a sedative?” Steve questioned, Claudia reading around her own head.

“No trace in any of their systems for usual and unusual suspects. Each were missing jewelry, small items.”

“Artifacted to sleep, then robbed,” Claudia mentioned. “Okay, let's go, Jinksy.” Artie watched the two groups walk away and he mentally ignored the fact the groups were mismatched to him.

()()()

Pete kept flubbing.

While in Steve's body, he had to use Steve's ATF badge, but he kept introducing himself as Secret Service. Myka was annoyed, and kept jabbing him in the ribs when their witnesses would walk off.

The professor they met with pinged off Myka's internal senses. “Professor Romans?” she inquired, walking in after the last of the students rushed out.

“Oh,” she said, “I'm sorry, do I know you?”

“Agent Bering, Secret Service,” Myka introduced, “Agent Jinks, ATF. We're here about the students.”

“That went missing, of course,” she finished for her, “Of course, but how is this your jurisdiction?”

Myka was prepared to use the standard President excuse, but Pete claimed, “We're right now jointly looking at an illegal gun runner, who may also be printing counterfeit money. These students may have stumbled on something they weren't supposed to know.”

There was a little bit of nervousness, something that pinged with Myka. “Oh, my. I don't believe it,” she said, “This is such a nice city. We don't have the problems that other university campuses have.”

Something was off about that last sentence to Pete. “We found that all of these students had your class. Is there anything that you noticed about them?” Myka asked.

“No.”

Okay, something was off again. _Wait, Myka experienced my vibes when she was in my body. I'm experiencing Jinks's lie detector. She's lying._ He kept quiet about that, instead trying to search out more information. “Are you sure? They didn't talk to each other? Turn in the same answers? Study each other?”

She shook her head. “I don't.... There isn't a study group for my class that I know about. There could be a secret one. Have you talked to the students?”

“There isn't one they mentioned,” Myka confirmed.

“They talked about how each of the students had to come back because you wanted to talk about something.”

“I... had to discuss something on their tests.” That was one great wrong in Pete's head. “Some were a little close to each other.”

“Did you discover anything wrong?” 

“No, just several students that were thinking alike that day.”

“All right, thank you,” Myka told her, walking away with Pete.

“Okay, first thing, having Steve's lying detection is freaky,” he mentioned, “And, yes, she was lying.”

“So, she probably has something to do with the students going missing.”

“Do you think vampires are real?”

She thought about it. “I know there are artifacts that can replicate it. The twilight book we picked up, Stoker's original manuscript.”

“Yeah, but, blood lost,” he pointed out, trying to hint at it.

“No,” Myka declared, walking away.

()()()

Claudia was liking the fact she was in a taller body. She was also using it against Steve, who was still not happy at being in her body. Granted, she understood the reason, after telling him she was in the middle of her period. 

The last victim was at home, and they went to go talk to her over what happened. She seemed reluctant over allowing them in, even after Claudia flashed Pete's ID. Both kept their distance and sat away from her. “Missus Frileen,” Claudia led, “You reported that one the morning of the robbery, you let in someone. Did you know this person?”

She shook her head. “No, he might have been a salesman. I can't remember; everything's still blurry before I passed out.”

“Blurry how exactly?” Steve asked.

“I have flashes of the man, but they're not complete.”

“Is there anything that stands out about these fragments?” Claudia inquired, “Were you looking at something? Was he doing something in particular?”

“I don't.... I remember him showing something off. I can't remember what though.”

“Nothing on a general shape or what the item was supposed to be?” Steve mentioned.

“No, it's still worrying, I can't remember anything. Please,” she begged, “I don't want to talk anymore.”

Out of the house, the two looked at each other. “None of the victims what this man looks like or what he was holding,” Steve complained.

“Yeah, and it messes with memory,” Claudia completed, “I wonder if Zombie flower pollen shows up on toxicology reports.”

“I doubt it was that, since it doesn't knock out the person. Wouldn't Artie have noticed?”

“Do you think Artie would have thought about it?”

“Considering what's he's been around, yes,” Steve stated.

With a beep, Claudia checked her phone, her actual phone since it was linked up with the police reports and she didn't trust Steve with it. “Another report, this time husband and wife were home.”

“Let's go.”

()()()

Pete suggested watching the teacher, and Myka agreed. If she was following a pattern, then another student was going to disappear that night. The two saw the woman get into her car and drive off. Following her, they ended up at a small home. “It's her house,” she noted.

After a few minutes, they saw one of her students walk up and enter the home when she answered. “It's been a while since college, but I'm pretty sure professors aren't supposed to have house hours,” Pete said.

“Yeah,” Myka agreed, getting out. The two walked out and up to the house. Pete had his Tesla out but hidden. Myka was the one that answered. “Professor Romans,” she called out.

It took a while for the woman to answer. “Yes?”

“Where's your student, Professor?” Pete asked.

“Student?”

“Yes, ma'am, we saw her enter. Where is she?” Pete inquired.

“I have no clue....”

_No wonder Jinks has problem with people lying. This thing is irritating._ “Okay. Professor, we know you were lying before. Just tell us what you're doing to the students and what you're doing it with,” he pressured.

“I have no clue...”

“Ma'am, whatever you're doing is placing your students in the hospital.”

She grew agitated. “It's not hurting them,” she defended. 

Myka brought out her Tesla. “Ma'am, out of the way, please,” she commanded.

“You can't do that! This is a private residence and...”

“And if I were to call for your student, she wouldn't be able to answer and I would have to come in and make sure she was all right,” Pete told her, “Which gives me cause. Hello!”

There was no answer, as expected. “We're coming in to check to see if you're alright,” Myka yelled. She forced her way passed the professor, with Pete watching over her.

The student was in the living room, looking dangerously white and unconscious. _Aw man._ “What did you have her touch?” Pete questioned.

She frowned, her innocent look lost. “The pen,” she answered. Myka pulled out a glove and bag. The pen was an old fountain pen, and there was a red liquid dripping out of it. She placed it in the bag and watched the sparks fly out of it. The student started waking up, confused.

Their concern taken care of, they walked out to leave the professor to deal with the student. “Do you think this was a lawyer's pen?” Pete asked, looking at it through the bag.

“Why?”

“Because they were writing in blood.” Myka stared at him before driving off.

()()()

Steve and Claudia got over to the latest house only to find the police all over the area. The woman was crying by a detective while the husband was being loaded into the ambulance. Steve went over to one of the patrols. “What happened?” he asked, trying to play the curious Claudia.

“The couple was robbed.”

Claudia went over to the lead detective after being waved in by another patrol. “Agent Lattimer, Secret Service,” she introduced, a slight thrill going through her.

“What's Secret Service doing here?”

“Counterfeiting, we've been seeing experiences like this in a couple of other places. Some paper and ink have gone missing when the victims experience the missing hours,” she lied, glad that Steve wasn't hearing this. “When we heard these women were experiencing the same thing.”

He nodded, “Of course. Same as the others in the area, only whatever our perp used on the wife didn't work on the husband. Had to be knocked out with a blunt object before he walked off with jewelry, cash and a couple of figures.”

“You're sure the perp's a he? Several of the previous women didn't remember much, their memories weren't reliable.”

“The husband got a good look this time. Male, thirties, wearing a suit and holding some sort of item. He got mad when the husband didn't do what he wanted and attacked him.”

“Whatever it was didn't affect the husband?”

“No, I was surprised as well.”

“All right, thank you.” She motioned for Steve and they went back to their car to contact Artie. “It didn't work on the husband.”

“Weird,” he muttered.

Artie didn't look happy. “Yes?”

“Artie, is there something that only works on women?” Steve inquired.

Claudia had a good thought. “Kinda like the Mata Hari stockings?” she added.

He motioned, going through the computer, “There is a couple of Abernathy artifacts going around.”

“Abernathy, the conman?” Steve connected.

“Yep, could be his hat, tie-pin, maybe...”

“His watch,” Artie brought up, “One of his watches went missing from the FBI evidence locker last month.”

“Any details?”

“Leather with a gold face, used when he was working the airlines.”

“Thanks, Artie. Got it,” Claudia thanked, shutting it off. “So, a guy in a suit wearing a nice watch. That shouldn't be hard.”

“Sure, Claudia,” he disagreed, rolling his eyes.

Needing food, they stopped by a restaurant to grab some to-go bags before heading back to the motel to research. Claudia was the one waiting, since Steve didn't trust her. She looked over at a guy wearing a hoodie with nice pants.

Like suit pants.

“Whoa,” she muttered, feeling her body reverberate with bad shocks. “That had to have been Pete's vibes. Which means that guy is our artifacter.” She watched him enter the restaurant and go up to Steve. “Uh oh.”

Steve was waiting for the cashier to hand over the bag. He was getting hungry. All of a sudden, she stopped, staring at something behind him. He turned around and the first thing he focused on was the watch being pushed in his face. “Um, excuse me?” he pushed, “You're in my way.”

The person was getting angry. “Why aren't you acting like the others?”

Steve didn't know why it wasn't reacting to him, but it didn't matter, as he saw Claudia stepping in and pointed the Tesla at him. He dropped, and the guy was shot. He moved quickly to get out of the way of the falling body.

He looked up at her. “How did you....”

“Vibes,” she grinned, feeling just a bit giddy. He pulled out a glove and undid the watch before placing it in the bag and seeing it spark.

()()()

Everyone back at the B and B, Myka watched the three switched figures compare notes. Claudia was talking with Pete over the vibes. Steve was curled up on his own body, discussing with Pete about the lie detector quietly. Artie walked in and stared at the three before heading over to Myka. “Nothing yet?”

“Nope,” she said, “But Steve's about ready to go asleep.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, “I wonder if it wasn't an artifact.” She stared at him, not liking the possibility of even more weird things than just the artifacts.


End file.
